Dear eyes,
My eyes, I must
confess that I am not too pleased with you. Your actions in recent times have
become a source of concern to me. efforts to caution you have failed. you've
thrown all caution to the...well, wind.
Remember what
happened recently? we were riding an okada and the okada man's eyes were long
on the thong of a lady on the okada alongside us.
Rather than scold the
okada man to overtake them and save us from the sight of the pink scrap of lace.
you conspired with him and followed 'bumper to bumper' i watched helplessly as
you fed yourself to the brim and gave yourself a treat.
you made me late for
an important meeting. Thank God that I didn't lose my job that day or you would
have lost yours.
we have come a long
way though haven't we? from that time, those many years ago in the delivery
room, when you opened my mind to a whole new world as the nurse grabbed my legs
turned me upside down and gave me a hard slap on the bum_ just to be sure i was
alive.
Since then, you've
been with me every step of the way, helping me navigate this colorful world.
without you, how would i have known in nursery school that A is for Apple!
since then, i have come to trust you as a companion whose opinion counts.
behold my honorable special adviser on aesthetics. Every day, you help me
choose what to wear and what colors to mix and match. You are Mr. Style in me.
I'd be an ingrate if i didn’t give you credit for my excellent taste in
beautiful damsels.
But yet again, the
other day you embarrassed me when you were caught in the act; looking at an
angel tattoo above the blue thong of the innocent girl that just came down from
a bus. And i covered my face for you. In shame.
My dearest pair of
eyes, i put it to you that you are fast becoming very flirtatious and i want
you to turn a new leaf. for you to understand the times we live in, i will show
you a witty email that my friend Dayo sent to me. In form of a graph, it showed
different pants and the way evolution has affected them. The shapes and the
sizes of panties continually shrunk from Kembe of the 70's and 80's to the
threads that these women now call pants. the mail asked "what would
pants look like in the future"
In case you are
contemplating a response my eyes, i would like to tell you to mind your
business; shut your retinas to the tempting sights of those ladies whose pink,
black, green, and even blue lacy thongs slide above their waist due to
inadequacies of scanty tops and low waist jeans. while I am grateful that the
hands of some of these girls have a conscience and constantly push the
offending thong out of sight, i want to appeal to you to look the other way ant
time there's a slip of thong on any lady or i might take drastic measures.
As the good old book
says, " if your eyes causes you to sin...pluck it out" I hope
it wont have to come to that.
Yours Sincerely
Ijesa boi
